How to talk about guns and firearm violence with your kids
Learn the American gun violence landscape to know how to talk about guns with anyone.
If a shooting tragedy were to happen tomorrow, have you trained your children, your family, your employees, and yourself how to survive?
If not, let me help empower you to do so. In my book Stop the Killing: How to End the Mass Shooting Crisis, I wrote an entire active shooter training curriculum into one chapter. Another chapter is devoted to zero-fear training for children, which includes identifying books you can buy and a list of long-established, multilingual websites to help them - and you - along.
Training for children is particularly important. Why? What happens when the worst happens? In my opinion, adults are the ones panicked when the topic of guns and shootings arises, but kids, not so much. Adults forget that kids take their cues from those around them. Bottom line: Do not be afraid to talk to your kids about shootings and any potential tragedy with language that strives to empower them.
If a shooting happens don't pretend it didn't. Kids around you hear things at school, through social media, and the news. To start the conversation just mention that you know it happened. It’s okay to say you heard there was a shooting at the local school or grocer, and it made you a bit uneasy. Then listen to find out what they already know. Let them guide the conversation. Be calm. Clarify inaccurate information and encourage your children to ask questions — any questions.
Be honest if you don't know the answers, and, if your kids are teens, search out answers together looking for the most accurate and unbiased reporting. If you don't know much about guns, check out my book, How to Talk About Guns with Anyone. It's politics-free, I promise, but filled with facts about gun purchase restrictions, types of guns, gun laws, and the data behind potential solutions.
Listening to commentators and having opinions is perfectly fine, but it's important to stick to the facts when discussing an incident. Above all, when tragedy happens, step back and let everyone involved recover at their own pace. Also, check back in with your children again, and again, if necessary. It’s important that the conversation is ongoing to ensure they won’t be afraid to discuss future things that frighten them.
